innocence is so last year

Earlier today Smootch and Birdie Boy were pretending to be my litter of overgrown puppies. Something I said about needing kicked out of the den after having to wrestle them both for control of the cd player volume button (I eventually took the knob off the cd player and hid it on top of the tv). They make very cute puppies, though a bit icky when they tried to lick me. To distract Smootch from giving me sloppy kisses, I mentioned that a female dog was called a bitch. Smootch loves facts, especially ones that have an edge of the illicit. Giving her this bit of information was a mistake, however. Smootch is fully aware of the other meaning of 'bitch' and wasted no time in using her new information in her typically smartmouth, fiendish way.

Smootch says, "Ah, so you are my bitch mama!" with the sweetest smile that said, oh yes, I meant it to mean exactly how it sounded.

Make no mistake, she is a precocious child. If I wasn't her bitch mama, I'd be so proud.